54--SCHOOLING IN SKIRTS

my pink fingernails showing through the soapsuds. It was all so unreal.

000

I had been living as a girl full-time for about four months, with a temporary driver license saying that my name was Danielle Renee' Nichols all my friends at school knew me as Danni, and I had a girlfriend who loved me for being feminine. As I dried myself off, patting the towel against my swollen nipples. They seemed more swollen and tender today. I began to realize that I had gotten so deeply into this masquerade that it was going to be almost impossible to restore things to normal when Kathy finally snapped out of it ... if she did at all.

At least spending an entire week with Chris took me away from my sister's influence. If ever there would have been a time for me to try to resume my male life, this would be it ... only I didn't own any boy clothes anymore. I considered asking Chris if we could go to the mall and buy me some, but she seemed to be loving my girlish appearance so much, I was sure it would be pointless to ask. Besides, she had been suggesting outfits from her closet for me to wear when we went out. It seemed that the longer I lived as Danni, the slimmer my chances to become Danny again.

I did manage to get over to Robin's office, though... and confronted her with the prescription she'd had written for me. "How could you do this to me?" I demanded. "It wasn't bad enough that Kathy made me dress as a girl ... you have to try to REALLY turn me into one?”

"Calm down, Danni," she replied. "Even though the hormones have caused some breast development, they've also brought your nausea under control, haven't they?" I nodded my head, meekly. "See," Robin continued, “the nausea was actually a nervous reaction to all of the changes in your life. Taking these..." She indicated the prescription bottle, "... brings out the calmer side of your nature. You DO feel better about dressing as a female now than you did when you first started?"

"Well, yes... but I've been doing this for months now. I could probably have gotten used to dressing almost ANY way by this time!”

CONTEMPORARY TV FICTION 55

"The point is, you're a lot more comfortable in a female role now. I knew that Kathy's recovery would take months, maybe longer. Your male hormones were about to shift into high gear causing a beard, muscles and a lot of other side effects that would make it impossible for you to dress like a girl." She leaned back in her chair. "Tell me, if you could go back to being a boy, right now, how do you think you'd handle it?"

"I'd love nothing more," I told her. "I don't care how you explain it, it's not natural for a boy to live his life as a girl!"

"But all your friends know you as Danielle. If you were to suddenly appear in male clothing, without makeup, you'd be branded a lesbian, at best. They would never accept you as Daniel."

I was silent. She was making sense, in a bizarre way. And if she was right about the way my classmates would react, I would be ruining Chris' life as well. My worst fear was true: I was stuck with the identity of my late twin. "You're saying I have no choice but to live my life as a female?" I finally asked.

you

"No, as soon as your sister is OK, we'll take off the hormones and your male hormones will take over. You'll never be a football jock but you become a fine young man. Danni, you should feel lucky. There are many men couldn't do what you're doing. At least you're fully passable. And you haven't had to totally give up your only family, your sister. You even have a girl who loves you and accepts you.

If you would like to be on our mailing list or would like to have a list of current titles, send a note to:

SANDY THOMAS

P.O. Box 2309

Capistrano Beach, CA 92624